This is not where I wanted to be.
We had a contract on a house, and I had already imagined where all of our furniture would go. I’d been mulling over the seed catalog and making lists of what would grow where. I thought that by now I’d be planting my spring garden at our new home and sending out invitations to our Easter potluck.
Instead, we had to walk away from the contract due to a structural issue, and now we’re under Safer at Home orders in a rent house I thought I was finished with.
I’ll admit, the combination of events left me doing some significant pouting. I gave myself time to be disappointed and sad. Then that time started stretching beyond what was helpful. I realized I was spending too much time with feelings that weren’t changing my situation.
To turn things around, I had to start working on where I am. I cleaned out a closet. Then I cleaned them all. When we had a break from the rain, I started pulling weeds which led to trimming shrubs. I found the chrysanthemums coming up from the ground and appreciated the brilliance of the buds on the trees that caught my attention when we saw this house for the first time. I carried my coffee outside to enjoy the impressive view from our front porch.
I had been so caught up in where I thought I should be that I was wasting the beauty that exists where I am. I’m still disappointed, to be sure, but I can experience gratitude at the same time.